ONLY JOOKES

A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room. “Where the hell do you think you’re…

A guy goes into a drugstore to buy rubber packs. “What size?” asks the clerk. “Gee, I don’t know.” “Go see Sophie in ai…

That evening he arrives at his new post; a run down mosque in the middle of nowhere. As he switches over with the marin…

A guy goes to see the doctor, because he’s a little too well-endowed. In fact, it’s 25 inches long and he can’t get any…

There was this guy who just got a new job as a school bus driver for elementary school children. He thought it would be…

A deaf man enters a pharmacy to buy rubber pack and tries to explain what he wants with sign language. The pharmacist d…

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn; the wife prefer…

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a cl…

A wealthy man died and went to heaven. He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of go…

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in …

A politician dies and ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks thro…

A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a muddy patch in t…

A man passes out while swimming in a river. A group of people surround the riverbank where the young man was floating. …

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, “My dad scribbles a few words on a p…

An older man was married to a younger woman. After several years of a very happy marriage, he had a heart attack. The d…

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening – customer servi…

A little boy sits on Santa’s lap. Santa says “I bet I know what you want for Christmas,” and with his finger he taps th…

A guy asked a girl in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: “I D…

who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she’d like to have for her …